I am now officially a sailor!

I finished my processing today, picked out a job, and swore in. I am now a naval soldier. :) Now my life can officially come together and start progressing.

Things seem to be looking up now. Feeling relieved, excited, and very blessed.

I ship to basic training on April 16th.

God is good.

Sort of at a loss for words.

Frank Ocean just came out as gay/bi or whatever. Which is great to him, loads of respect and I’m proud of him accepting himself enough to be comfortable enough to let that out into the public despite rumors. While there is a great upside to this, there is sort of a slight downside to it. Has nothing to do with his sexuality at all. I support the bi/homosexual community and their right to be miserable like the rest of us.

However, the slight downside, is I fear he’s gonna blow up and be famous for being bi-sexual, not for being the talented motherfucker that he is. I’m fearing that his amazing talent to write, sing and express himself is going to be overshadowed just for his sexuality regardless of talent. While being open about your sexuality is great, I don’t want him to be seen as ‘the gay singer’. I want him to be seen as Frank Ocean. 

That’s my only fear.

I love and respect you bro. I’ll love your music whether you’re gay, straight, bi, dead, alive, white, black, cactus, chair, cat, or dog. You’ll be that nigga regardless of anything, but I want the world to see you for you, and not just your sexuality. You gained double my respect for being comfortable with yourself and letting it be known you’re not ashamed. Keep spilling your soul for us, we’ll always love you and support you through it. Thank you for the wonderful music. #ChannelOrange.

-Omar, gotosleeep.tumblr.com

I’m tired. Tired of my own problems. Tired of being so conserved. Tired of people. I have enough problems and I’m miserable enough. I don’t need to pile on the misery and grief. I have such a heavy mind and heavy heart. As sick as it sounds, its times like this where I’d rather be in a casket underground than up here.

I know misery loves company, but that’s not what I want. I don’t want anyone else to have to bare this too. I’d give up everything for peace of mind. I don’t know how much more I can take. But when does it ALL end? When?

Because I’m tired.

I’m so homesick its ridiculous. Man this place sucks. Hopefully I can at least visit this summer after school’s done. I feel like such an outsider here, and this is my 2nd year here already. I just miss walking, walking, walking. Walking to go play ball, people with the same accents as me, REAL pizza, dope ass Chinese food spots. Those city girls, just city life in general.

This homesickness has my mind all fucked up. I wanna be miserable when I’m married like everyone else, not now in my youth.

Can a nigga go be a nigga in Brooklyn?